High Taste Knows No Bounds

Nothing says “I’m sorry I cheated on you with my 19-year-old-secretary” more eloquently than a $1.5m necklace… and for good measure, it never hurts to toss in a little something extra.

MGMTerrifying

MGMT’s music has grown exponentially in popularity considering how much of a throwback it is.  Think The Darkness, a Queen-esque band with a 70′s rock feel, circa 2003.  Many people have said MGMT’s music reminds them of 70′s disco/pyschedelia.  To me, it’s surprisingly addictive considering how much I hate psychedelic music from the 1960′s and 1970′s.  Their music simply won’t leave my brain, though, months and months after it was first released.  MGMT’s music videos are pretty all-over-the-place if innocuous, definitely following the psychedelic trend: crazy colors, warped perspective, random flying objects…

But MGMT’s new video for their thoroughly-addictive single “Kids” is just asking for trouble.  You can check it out here.

The premise of the video follows a toddler as he is tormented by horrific monsters and zombie-like creatures in his crib, and later, on the street after his mother drops him (literally!) so she can text on her Blackberry.  I’m guessing the little boy is about one year old, and is obviously terrified considering he spends most of the video in tears, especially when handled or approached by the creatures.  The video continues down this path, then descends into MGMT’s expected psychedelia with a few minutes of animation that culminate with the tot being dropped down a black hole.

What??

Initially I had no issue with this video, until I thought about it a bit more.  At one or two, this young boy isn’t acting — he’s definitely scared.  Certainly you can make the argument that he won’t remember this faux trauma as he grows up, but that’s easily contradicted.  For example: When I was one or two, my mother left me with a family friend for the night.  I distinctly remember being in a crib in their living room and beginning to feel feverish and sick.  I felt horrible and cried all night, but no one would come to help me — presumably because they thought I was still learning to sleep by myself.  But that memory has stuck with me, even now, in my mid-20′s.  How can this child be expected to forget these horrid monsters?  And the worst part?  They’re not in his imagination.  They are real, and taunting him.  At the very least, he’ll have nightmares until he is forced to face his fears.

I also realized, almost instantaneously, that the MGMT “Kids” video felt suspiciously like the Australian anti-smoking commercial that was released a few months ago:

The backlash regarding that commercial was remarkable.  People flipped their lids!  Obviously, the little boy in the commercial was alone in a crowded train station, left to believe his mother was gone.  Certainly he was upset, but children lose parents momentarily all the time, and vice-versa.  Depending on how responsible the parent is, that can be a day-to-day occurrence.  I lived with the fear as a young girl that my mom would disappear, and a few times we lost each other for a split second in crowded places, but that is life.  Monsters are not, at least not the kind with giant claws that chase after children.  It’s also important to remember that even though the anti-smoking commercial got a lot of flack for deliberately terrifying a child, it did serve an important purpose — it’s message hit home with lots of people, touched the psyches of mothers all over the place, and perhaps it inspired a few to quit smoking.

So what about the MGMT video?  What’s the message there?  You could argue that perhaps the boy sees people in the outside world as monsters, and that he lives with the fear of someone who has not yet learned that not everyone is out to get him.  At one point, a monster dressed as a mailman picks up the boy and hands him back to his mother, and he cries the whole time.  Who’s to say the boy wouldn’t do that with a normal looking mailman?  I get that MGMT wanted the authentic and distilled fear of a one or two year old, but their video leaves me feeling a little… sour.  Not infuriated, not sad, just, as Michael Kors would say in Project Runway, underwhelmed.

Eggs-asperated!

Oh come on, Potrero Hill Whole Foods.  I get that you’re situated in one of the richest cities in the US.  I also realize that Whole Foods is at times more expensive than it should be (that could be debatable though — I’ve often found myself getting more ripped off at Safeway, but that’s a post for another day), but come ON!

I'll take a dozen!

Ostrich eggs from Tehachapi, CA for $29.99 a pop?

Ok, ok, I get it.  Slow food and all that.  I love my food slow.  Supporting small farms fills me with a sense of pride and I take particular comfort in knowing that I’ve bought locally-grown organic produce, or cage-free farm-fresh eggs, and so on and so forth.  I delight in dining at places like Cafe Gratitude and Universal Cafe, both of which deal specifically with what’s local and what’s organic.  Maybe it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things if I purchase locally-obtained eggs, flowers, yarn or whatever, but I believe in keeping things local and not buying into the Wal Mart mentality.

But Whole Foods, this is just ridiculous!  In case you haven’t heard, we’re in the midst of a major economic meltdown.  Maybe some of your customers have weathered the storm unscathed, but most haven’t.  What am I missing here?  The perfunctory research I’ve done tells me that ostrich eggs taste pretty much the same as chicken eggs.  One ostrich egg can equal (volume wise) about 24 chicken eggs, but that still makes no monetary sense here, as I rarely pay over $3 or $4 for a dozen organic eggs…

But then again, maybe seeing $30 eggs at the grocery store is a sign that things are turning around.  Could it be that Whole Foods knows something we don’t?

To Twitter or Not to Twitter?

I’ll admit it: I was a skeptic.

Up until about three months ago, I refused to try Twitter.  It seemed like such a trite, silly application of social media.  When Facebook began adding status updates what seems like eons ago, it felt like the whole world was slipping out from under me.  I thought “Am I going to be one of those people who has to let everyone know what they’re doing every second of every day?”  Sure, Twitter is a tad narcissistic, but don’t worry.  Getting started has many more advantages than disadvantages, even though Current TV’s SuperNews would gladly tell you otherwise…

Listen, if you’re still on the fence, here are the top five reasons I think it’s great to Tweet!

1.  Twitter forces you to be succinct. With only 140 characters, you’ve got to pare down the size of your posts.  As a writer, long copy has always been a problem of mine (ever read my blog?) — Twitter is a great way to become a better and more to-the-point writer.  In complete contrast, there’s Yelp!, the phenomenal customer review site.  One of the detriments of Yelp! is the fact that people can blather on for ages about pointless drivel.  Okay, sometimes that drivel isn’t so pointless — sometimes it’s quite funny or relevant — but there have been many times where I simply wanted to find out precisely why Kyle M. gave Dynamo Donuts two starts instead of five, instead of slogging through his tale of hangover-soaked heartbreak.

2. Twitter connects you to everyone, and I mean everyone. Want to follow Diddy’s exploits?  Want to find out what beverage Dita Von Teese made for her friends last night at her dinner party?  Maybe you’d just like to check out a TwitPic of Demi Moore in her underwear taken by her not-so-bashful husband, Ashton?  You’ve come to the right place.  Twitter doesn’t require you to approve requests to “follow” you, so you’ll often find your Twitter Follow list populated by people you don’t know.  That may seem a tad creepy, but hey, you’re following Ashton, and I’m sure he doesn’t remember the time you guys said hi to each other in Starbucks.  One of my happiest moments in my Twitter career was when I asked Better Than Ezra’s bassist, Tom Drummond, if the band was coming back to San Francisco.  He responded to me “Yes, soon”… short, but sweet.  Made my day!

3. Twitter is searchable. The search function on Twitter is the essence of its practicality.  If you’re in love with Lost, conduct a Twitter search for the show while its airing.  You’ll find people with similar interests and insights, and maybe grab up a few new people to follow.  Looking for a job?  Search by job description.  You never know who you may find… perhaps an employer looking for someone like you.

4. Twitter is the ultimate business builder. If you’d like to grow your blog readership, or perhaps gain a few more clients, Twitter is the way to go.  People using the search function can find you easily, and ReTweets can push even more readers your way.  Business owners are using Twitter to promote special events and sales, and because of the immediacy of Twitter, businesses are more accessible than ever.  Consumers can reach customer service without emailing or picking up the phone, and get real, personalized help from a real human being.

5. Twitter will help you to become the all-knowing superpower you’ve always wanted to be. When Flight 1549 landed in the Hudson River on January 15th, social media sites like Facebook and Twitter were privy to the information first, before any news station broke the story.  As witnesses saw the water landing unfold, they Tweeted and updated Facebook and MySpace statuses, and the news spread like wildfire.  When I felt the Bay Area’s last small earthquake, I Tweeted about it immediately, and soon got responses from others who had felt it too.  Never before have average people been able to feel so connected over the once-impersonal internet.

You may hate the idea of Twitter, but give it a whirl.  You may be surprised… I was!  Plus the Fail Whale is pretty cute.

(And while you’re at it, follow me: StefkaB.)

Bright: Dolores Park

(And now for something new: “Bright/Blight” is a new addition to this blog, where I’ll review little nibbles of San Francisco life and culture.  Nothing snooty or anything — over the past year and a half I’ve come to realize how much attitude SF has, both good and bad.  If something inspires me enough to write about it here, you can be sure it’s either amazing and worth checking out ["Bright"] or totally not ["Blight"].  So without further ado…)

Although I spend more time inside than I probably should, one of my favorite hangouts in San Francisco is an outdoor oasis: Dolores Park.  It’s a fantastic place to chill out with good pals when the rainy season fades away and the weather begins to warm up.  My husband, some friends, and I all headed out to the Park this weekend to soak up some rays, picnic, drink some brews and people-watch.

The crowd begins to fill in at Dolores Park on March 28th, 2009.

On its busiest weekends, the scene in Dolores Park reminds me of Woodstock.  Everyone there is happy and having a great time: hipsters, hippie peddlers, yoga freaks, hot boys up at Gay Beach, punk kids, fixie-heads, stoners, dog lovers and plain old regular turbo nerds (like me).  Sitting in the crowd, it’s hard not to notice just how much is going on.  Next to us, there were some tattooed hipster chicks listening to The Gap Band’s “You Dropped A Bomb on Me”.  Shirtless dudes played frisbee and tossed footballs, and leash-free puppies ran and tumbled around, causing all kinds of trouble racing between islands of reclining people.  When we arrived, children were playing on the swingset and jungle gym while foodies BBQed next to an organized group of limber yoga students.  The whole thing is quite a scene.  I’m tempted to call it a circus, but it’s really too mellow to be labeled as such.  The only downside to a busy day at Dolores Park is the 45-minute bathroom line, and even though my bladder was about to explode while I stood waiting for one of only two available stalls, it was hard to concentrate on anything but the utter awesomeness of the whole scene.

In some ways Dolores Park reminds me of those teen movies where the different factions of high school students are introduced, like in this scene from Mean Girls.

There is one major difference between the cliques depicted in a typical highschool movie and the people that hang around in Dolores Park — in the Park, the varied groups are all hanging together, and there’s no class or clique differentiation.  It’s San Francisco epitomized, and when I’m there, I can’t help but think how lucky I am to live just 10 blocks away.  It’s a definite bright spot in an already gleaming city.

Losing My Religion

My dear friend posted this hysterical video on Facebook.

A funny and right-on commercial, its message snowballed in my brain to something much larger and more dire.  The commercial’s message got me thinking about Pope Benedict XVI’s denouncement of the use of condoms to control the spread of AIDS in Africa.  This news absolutely flabbergasts me, and makes me ashamed to say I was raised Catholic (I no longer practice for many reasons like those listed above).  What I don’t understand is how a religion that claims to be so understanding and so full of charity can make such a morally reprehensible move that is anything but merciful.  The Catholic Church is simply proving that they are bearers of misinformation, and there are so many reasons why the Vatican’s move is a terrible one.

1.  Misinformation is gravely irresponsible, not to mention lazy. Rather than take the time and effort to educate people on the dangers of unprotected sex, the Catholic Church wastes time with religious propaganda, and in turn risks the health and welfare of its followers.  To me, it seems that the message that condoms are bad is an ineffectual quick fix for a very complicated issue.  In 2001, there were stories circulating that in some parts of Africa people believed that sex with infants and young virgins would cure AIDS.  I remember hearing last year that some Africans were led to believe that condoms actually caused AIDS (which is basically the Vatican’s current argument, but the reasoning behind both sides is different).  If these beliefs and behaviors are continuing even with the Catholic Church’s presence in Africa, the church needs to rethink their tactics.  When their plan to educate people about the “evils” of condoms backfires, how will they respond when even more people die of AIDS in a continent that is so ill-equipped to deal with the problem?  Where is the Catholic Church’s compassion?  Isn’t murder more sinful than preventing STDs and pregnancy?  Charity means nothing once you have blood on your hands.

2. Condoms DO prevent AIDS, and using them is morally responsible, not morally wrong. If you believe that abortion is wrong, fine.  I have my opinions on that matter, but I respect the opposite argument as well.  The fact is, using condoms is a cheap and easy way to prevent pregnancy AND abortion — condoms also prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases.  What I think everyone can agree on is that we need less cases of HIV/AIDS infection, and while we’re at it, less unwanted children wouldn’t be such a bad thing either.  Thus, condoms are the perfect solution to the myriad issues that often accompany having unprotected sex.

3. Abstinence doesn’t work. William Saletan’s great opinion article in the New York Times says it best: “Mating is the engine of history. It has overpowered every stricture put in its way.”  Humans are animals, hard-wired to need and want sex.  Attempting to deprive people of that basic desire is a fruitless endeavor.  Case in point: while Utah’s population is approximately 58% God-fearing Mormon, Utah’s residents also consume the most online pornography in the country.  Why?  Because God tells Mormons that non-procreative sex is bad, so they consume porn instead of having “sinful” and pregnancy-free sex with their partners.  But wait, isn’t masturbation just as evil as non-procreative sex?  Somewhere in the darkest corner of my brain I have a feeling that long ago some religious figure wasn’t getting laid and decided to try and ruin it for the rest of us by saying “Heck, if I’m not getting any, neither will anyone else!”

4. 22 million Africans are already infected with AIDS. That number is nothing to sneeze at.  Wikipedia states that even though Africa is inhabited by just over 12% of the world’s population, the continent is estimated to have more than 60% of the AIDS-infected population.  Unacceptable!  I agree that condoms are not the only answer to the AIDS problem, but they ARE one of many, including reliable health education and a comprehensive health care system, all of which have proven helpful with managing the infection rate in the United States.  Preaching the hypocrisy of a so-called moral code is futile, especially when the AIDS epidemic in Africa has gotten as big as it has.  Obviously the Church is doing something wrong.

Last year I attended a friend’s daughter’s bat mitzvah.  As I sat in the temple with my my mother, my sister and her boyfriend, I was amazed to realize how little preachiness there was to the ceremony.  My mother and I noted how happy everyone was and how proud the bat mitzvah-to-be was.  The rabbi was a young guy, probably only a tad older than me, and he said something to the daughter that really stuck with me: “I have made mistakes in life.  You will make mistakes, and you are allowed to make mistakes.  But a mistake is not a mistake if you learn something from it.”  If only Pope Benedict would take this compassionate lesson to heart.  His choice of how to deal with the AIDS epidemic in Africa is a mistake, plain and simple.  If the Vatican wants to remain a powerful presence in Africa, they must move forward and find a solution that really works and doesn’t set African Catholics up for failure.

(In any case, I promise not to talk about such serious stuff all the time.  It just bums me out that not everyone has the same chances and opportunities to get the right education and information about something so serious, and I really want that to change.)

The Horrible Genius of Old Navy

The few who follow me on Twitter already know how much I hate this commercial:

I have nothing against Old Navy. In fact, I commend the fashion giant. Old Navy has managed to proliferate while many fashion companies have seen their profits and customers dwindle. As much as I resist corporate fashion, Old Navy is truly a success story. They manufacture stylish staples at a price point that doesn’t leave broken hearts in its wake. Plus, they’re based out of San Francisco. What’s not to love?

So what about this TV commercial irked me to the point that I felt the need to blog about it? It’s funny you asked, because I was just about to get to that.

1. The whole concept of the Modelquin seems too cutesy, and slightly ominous. The saccharine packaging of the Modelquin commercials belies the vacant stares of these inanimate objects with whom we are expected to sympathize.  Which leads me to my next point…

2. We are expected to sympathize with inanimate objects! Trust me, a Modelquin knows nothing about buying jeans that fit (see point 3).  Commercials are meant to stir something in the viewer that motivates them to buy a product.  Often times, sympathy is cultivated by showing (would you believe it?) live people!  The only thing that’s been stirred in me is a vague feeling of nausea.

3. Modelquin bodies are inhuman. I’m sorry, but did that Modelquin comment on her “nutritious and bootylicious” derriere?  I think it’s crazy that these characters are talking about how great their bottoms look in Old Navy jeans, when they have no bottoms to speak of.  Forget the fact that they’re made of injection-molded plastic; They have no flesh — at all.  It’s not even like they’re made by Tukatech.  These pods are hard, cold, lifeless, lacking a live woman’s wiggle and compressibility.  How can they possibly tell you what kind of a fit those jeans give?  Having worked in fashion I know that most clothes are drafted and draped around a nonexistent average size.  I can guarantee you that these Modelquins are just that when it comes to size — a nonexistent average.  How can Old Navy possibly expect to sell to real people if they don’t have real people in their advertisements?

4. For a giant fashion conglomerate, the Modelquins certainly make Old Navy seem desperately cheap. The inception of the Modelquins is proof that Old Navy is suffering economic woes, just like everyone else.  Live models are expensive, and all fashion companies are finding ways to cut back.  Even models are hurting, though, and Old Navy is not helping the situation!  What’s especially disarming, though, is that I’m not quite sure whether or not displaying their transparencey is what Old Navy was going for in the Modelquins commercials.  If advertising such a blatant cutback been part of their plan, this commercial is, frankly, genius.

The whole thing kind of reminds me of this Seinfeld bit from awhile back where Jerry says that fathers are indimidating because they can say “To hell with the world.  I’ll just create my own people.”  We can only hope that Old Navy doesn’t start a trend here.  I can just imagine the New York Fashion Week of the future with conveyor belt runways full of plastic waifs…